


Stare

by blueruin



Series: A Song for You [2]
Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 10:08:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12479140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueruin/pseuds/blueruin
Summary: The title is from Prince's "Stare," on which this story is loosely based.This is for my favorite faraway friend, Kaia.





	Stare

**Author's Note:**

  * For [withinwithout](https://archiveofourown.org/users/withinwithout/gifts).



> The title is from Prince's "Stare," on which this story is loosely based.
> 
> This is for my favorite faraway friend, Kaia.

First things first, nobody told you he’d be here.

Tonight was supposed to help you forget. You followed the loud _thump thump thump_ of a funky bass line like sonic breadcrumbs leading you to a Technicolor world after a lifetime of greys. The club was rife with unbridled passion and inebriated pleasure, so you threw yourself into the mix with reckless abandon. It didn’t take long for you to lose yourself in the song - flailing limbs and two left feet making a mess of rainbows on the dance floor.

For a while, it was enough. It felt like counting down to midnight on New Year’s Eve. Or skinny-dipping at night. Or downing your first drink after you’ve decided to stop counting. Dizzy with alcohol and dancing and warmth from strangers, it was the kind of night that everybody braves the dark for and seeks out to find.

You swore that you were all about fun tonight and nothing else. You swore to yourself you wouldn’t look for him in a sea of nameless faces. But then the song changed, and the crowd parted, and there he was in all his shiny, shimmering, splendid glory. You simultaneously cursed and thanked the universe for your luck. This random happenstance felt a little bit like fate - that maybe all this time you were doing the right thing because it led you to this moment. This awful, terrible, delicious moment that gave you a chance to just stare.

So that’s what you did. You stared at this ridiculously beautiful man, whom you once knew. Hair longer, face fuller, smile brighter than before. All subtle sway and smoldering glances. You didn’t have to look around to know that everyone else was staring at him, too. (And nobody had to know that you have a chainsaw for anyone who dared to take him away from you.)

*

Second things first, he wasn’t supposed to see you.

But he did, and he stared back, and the rest of the world disappeared just like that. The song changed, and you could hear the _thump thump thump_ of a funky bass line that matched your quickened heartbeat. It felt like a hundred exclamation points threatening to burst out of your ribcage, rivaling the hundred question marks swirling about in your head.

You just stood there as he casually walked towards you, all dangerous charm and languid movement. You just stared as he edged closer to you with heat in his gaze and a question spilling out from his pretty mouth. Knuckles white from balling up your fists to restrain yourself from reaching out to touch, to feel. Lips clamped shut to refrain from uttering something that would ruin the moment - like that damn four-letter word you were too terrified to say before.

Gone was the technicolor world that was your reprieve. Everything now blurred and melded into a frantic and fascinating mess that tended towards darkness. But then he held out his hand, and you were suddenly grateful for it for nobody could see how your lips trembled and your knees shook. _Courage, dear heart_ , you told yourself as you took his hand and let him lead you to the dance floor.

Everything became irrelevant at that moment. There was no one else but you and him as you danced. And you did dance - flailing limbs and two left feet making a mess of rainbows as you moved to the beat. You knew he could break your heart again as soon as the music faded, but you didn’t care. It was you and him at that moment and nothing else mattered.

*

Last things last, you’d _rather let the music talk while you and_ him _walk into the past_.

Gone now was the uncertainty and the tease. Dizzy with alcohol and dancing and his warmth, it was the kind of feeling that everybody braves the dark for and seeks out to find.

At some point, he smiled at you with eyes crinkling in the corners and his tongue behind his teeth. You’re struck once again by how beautiful he is and how much you’ve missed him. The ache in your gut gradually melted as you smiled back - a genuine smile for the first time in a long while.

You swore that you were all about fun tonight and nothing else. You swore to yourself you wouldn’t look for him in a sea of nameless faces. But there he was in all his shiny, shimmering, splendid glory, and you simultaneously cursed and thanked the universe for your luck. This random happenstance felt a little bit like fate - that maybe all this time you were doing the right thing because it led you to this moment. This awful, terrible, delicious moment that gave you a chance to just stare.

So that’s what you did. You stared as a little festival went on inside you. He held out his hand, and you took it. And you held on tighter to keep yourself warm. You knew he could break your heart again as soon as the music faded, but he could also put it back together as soon as the next one began.

**Author's Note:**

> If you wish to cry over these beautiful idiots, fangirl over talented zarry authors, discuss music and stories and writing, or just talk about random things, send me a note at https://smoke-flowers.tumblr.com and I’ll reply. I promise.


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